At last today is over! Monday that is. What a shitty day it was. I’m sure you’ve all had days like it yourself.
I have recently been to the dentists and despite regular brushing and hygiene routines, I still have, according to my dentist, teeth like an old tramp who binges on cider and Werthers originals. She didn’t actually say that but they do make you feel like a 5 year old who’s been a bad boy.
Last Monday wasn’t much better now I think about it, I went for the first visit last Monday only to discover that I need four fillings! They did two straight away, with another one on the Friday last week. The fourth one scheduled for sometime in September. Like all good dentists, the lady recommended that I use some small dental brushes to clean in between my teeth. They look like mini milk bottle cleaners and cost more than they should.
So I get some of these brushes and they are ok to use and stuff. Until Monday morning 7th August comes around. After brushing, I decide to use the little brush thingy to finish off. I push it through the gaps in my teeth and all is funky and sweet. Teeth are looking good baby!
Suddenly I hear a sort of metallic clunk in my mouth and I know that the funkiness just vanished. Rolling my tongue about a bit I find a lump of something and spit it out. Shit! It looks like a filling to me. I know she said the brushes get rid of things stuck in your teeth but fillings is taking it too far!
After much swearing and staring in disbelief at this small piece of grey metal in my hand, I decide I will keep it and duly place it in my bathroom cupboard. What am I going to do with it I hear you ask? Absolutely no idea but it cost me money so I am reluctant to bin it. Maybe if a few more fall out I can weigh them in? I think I’m turning in to the old guy out of Steptoe and son (brilliant).
Well, I then realise that due to looking at this filling for far too long, I am late for work.
Phone calls are always thick and fast on a Monday morning. I work for a small company that maintains, repairs and supports computers for local business. They always seem to break them over the weekend, but I don’t know how they do it. “My computer won’t come on” is a favourite for Monday morning.
This is usually caused by cleaners pushing the hoover under the desk and knocking the power cable out of the back of the pc. Nobody ever checks the power cable. Phone calls and jump starts are out of the way by 11am and I get chance to ring the dentists. I am offered a 10 am appointment for Wednesday this week but I have had two dental visits in works time last week. “Do you have an appointment out of working hours” , I ask like a lamb to the slaughter.
8am on Wedneday! I don’t get up till 8 on a good day, never mind get needles and drills stuck in my cakehole. I find myself agreeing to the appointment and sounding grateful for it. Well it needs sorting soon doesn’t it. The day just sort of ground me down after that what with pensioners wandering in off the street to ask questions about computers and not getting any lunch.
Pensioners should not be allowed to have enough money to buy things. For the simple fact that they are a pain in the arse. They read a few copies of computeractive and suddenly everyone’s an expert! Aggh! If you work in a shop of any description you will know what I mean here. Ask them what they are going to use a computer for and most look at you gone out.
“Letters” is the usual answer. Several hundred pounds for a pc capable of billions of calculations per second and they say “letters”
Visions of strangulation flash in front of my eyes at this point but quickly subside in time for the next stunner which is undoubtedly always “emails”. They are going to send emails to Bob and Phyllis who live in the next street. Agghh! again.
I could go on forever about the day from hell but it’s over so here’s to Tuesday and hopefully a better start.
And some lunch.